26062005 - Don't Fuckin Control Me Anymore
I've had the most heated argument in my life. I just screwed my mum for screwing my life for the past 29years. For those years, I had lived my life for everyone around me. Fuck them all. Now onwards, I wanna live my life for myself.
Can you imagine being psychologically controlled by someone using money? Do you have to live your life for someone else or make decisions based on other's opinion about you or be swayed by other's opinion?
Today is probably the day that I am born again. I felt born again. A new life has begun. For from today onwards, i will fuckin screw anyone who tries to screw up my life. Like the lyrics in "Get in the ring" by GNR, anyone can fuckin get in the ring with me if they try to screw my life.
My mum is a strategist in my family. She's the one who can fuckin turn your siblings against you by gaining sympathy from them. She's the cunniest fox in the family. I was glad I turned against her today. In fact, it's something that had been accumulated for the past 29 years beofre it burst like a bubble.
My battle has just ended hours ago but I'm afraid today is only the starting of my war. Whatever it is, I don't need to survive myself by facing my family members. I don't need to live for them. I may even leave them all and not see them again if I have to. Whatever it is, I will always protect myself. Go ahead and try to screw me up, and see what I will do. I'm even open to physical threats from my own family members, what else can kill me?
If you want to stop me, you've got to kill me. Don't let me survive. Because whatever does not kill me will only make me stronger.
15062005 - The ungracious commuters in the train
I just heard a complain from my wife today. She was in the MRT going back to AMK from Town after some shopping. Normally, she brings along my 8 year old son since he's having a holiday. Upon boarding the train, no one gave up their seat to my son or my wife (who is pregnant). She was also carrying a hell lot of things with her. Everyone just simply chose not to see her or sleep or read something.
My son began to tell my wife that his legs are tired and needed a seat. Still, no one stood up. My wife was furious and said these word "Son, remember the society you grew up in. Because you will grow up to be like one of them". As she said that, 2 person stood up and happen to alight at the next station. My son took up one of the seat and guess what? Someone took the seat beside him instead of giving it to my wife.
I remember my time in Hong Kong, Japan, U.K or even Australia. People would never hesitate to give up their seats to kids or pregnant women. It is common courtesy.
I look at this incident and sigh at the kind of society we're breeding here. We're becoming like Chinese (from China) and they are becoming like us. It's like a switch of identity between them and us. Soon, 10 years down the road, they would have overtaken us economically. And that's just a conservative estimate of timing.
Most importantly, being kiasu will ultimately get us nowhere. It just makes more jerks and spoils more days. Kiasu does not help in any ways at all, whether economically, mentally, physically, spiritually or any way that is positive.
120605 - To decide on my 4th Tattoo
Ok, my 4th tattoo. I would like it to be the same as my left arm. This time, Jehovah Es Dios meaning "Jehovah is God" in spanish but in those fonts. I wonder how it will turn out?
The Luther's Rose - My next tattoo
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120605 - My Third Tattoo
I've been so busy lately. Everyday, I have to write my personal journal, my other journal, my blogs. Then my assignments from my PT studies. I think I'm having trouble with having only 24hours. Nevertheless, I may have to write lesser in this blog cos I really wish to complete one journal soon. Really.
Ok, this is about my third tattoo. I finally got an appointment with my tattoo artist on the 23rd Jun 05 for my 3rd tattoo. It's so difficult to book him. I got the day 1 day after my son's birthday. So therefore, all my tattoos are easy to remember.
Will upload the pic here soon. It's a Luther's Rose with these words "Word alone, Faith alone, Grace alone" in the crown. Got it from some website and fell in love with it as soon as I saw it.
I'm gonna do only the heart in red. The rest of the colours will not be added in. So looking forward to it even though I know it's always mentally torturing to sit on the tattoo chair once again.
Everytime before I go for a tattoo. I always must get prepared mentally and spiritually for it. It takes a few days and listening to some particular song before I meet him. The process is easy. He will just put on some chinese rock love songs and you'll feel everything is worth it.
Oh and BTW, I need to hear songs by Guns & Roses before going for a tattoo. In particularly : November Rain followed by Get in the Ring to get me pumped up. Occasionally, I also don't mind Civil War. Thank God my car stereo plays MP3s.
05062005 - Quote of the day
I'm actually starting to share a few of my favourite quotes everyday on my blog. So here goes the first :
I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers.
To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable.
